Hi, my name is D and this is my writings on subjects. I'm no rapscallion or anything at all. If you want to you can read my writings on subjects if you have free time. If you want to argue with me or call me names then please comment. Negative feedback is very welcome...I love dat shit. Me? I'm not even a noun, I'm a fucking verb, dude.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

How to Turn the Montreal Student Strike Lemons into Montreal Student Strike Lemonade

The face of Education is changing, many US and UK universities make all their curriculum and research available online (a year ago I wrote about this on this blog: http://writtting-d.blogspot.ca/2011/05/free-educationget-it-while-its-hot-and.html).

Coupled with BOINC (the combined hive-computer/voltron synthetic super computer), the educational value of the internet trumps traditional universities and may make them extinct in the future. In fact, universities of the old age are nothing more than mere glorified book clubs where snobs mentally masturbate all over each other.

Oh my Gawd! I hate school...I'm going on strike you guyz!
Knowing that, I find it harder and harder to care for these greasy students (who are all liberal art students or other hipsters anyway). They are fighting over an increase of about 400 bucks...and with the tuition credits they'll get on their federal and provincial taxes when they join the real world will absorb those costs anyhow. Do they really have to block all the roads and mess with the metro (subway) over this?

One of the sillier demands of one of the student groups behind the strike is to cut funding to universities research budgets. This is so strange in the fact that Quebec universities have made significant discoveries (including these last year alone: http://www.quebecscience.qc.ca/decouverte2011), and the student groups want to pull the money out of research so every little hipster can go to mental masturbation liberal arts book clubs for free.

The politicians and cops have made matters 1000 times worse by being so violent in their handling of this strike (as stupid as is it) that they have made more members of the public support the students than ever before.

This toy for example, the ARWEN 37mm Less Lethal System, that fires huge hard plastic "batons" at 242 feet per second should not have been used under any circumstances against citizens. Whoever gave the order for the police to use this weapon should be fired. The plastic batons, tear gas, sound cannons, and non-bodily marking torture techniques have only made things worse.

Now, how can you take a lemony situation such as this and make it into a lemonade situation?

...By Creating the Newest and Kewlest Spectator Sport the World has Evar Seeeeen!

This strike has made world wide news, and you know what they say..."all publicity is good publicity." Thus, someone with ingenuity must devise a way to turn this heavily publicized kerfuffle into something that is fun for everyone and a boost for the economy.

The Montreal Canadiens didn't make the playoffs this year, so we have a totally vacant arena with the seating capacity of 21,273. So, all they have to do is, pass an emergency law that states that all protests must be held at the Bell Centre. Then you sell tickets at $20 a pop, hire a bunch of concession and beer vendors and bam you got yourself some lemonade out of this nonsense.

What is the sport you ask? It's called Extreme Evasion and is heavily based off of the greatest TV show of all time, American Gladiators. The police are in essence the American Gladiators and the students are the contestants. If you've never heard of it before, this is a short briefing...

That video displays my man Wesley "Two Scoops" Berry running through the "gauntlet." Now picture a student trying to break through a police kettle formation for cash prizes! It's genius, it really is.

The police will get paid good money for taking part, the students will compete for luxurious prizes (free scholarships for breaking a kettle? How 'bout that?). The public will love this shit because it would be as entertaining as hell, and it would create jobs for vendors, ushers, scalpers, and a whole lot of other folks.

To include the politicians in this too (bums like Jeans Charest, and Pauline Marois), the Extreme Evasion halftime show will feature a dunk tank where a politician will be placed upon a board above a tank of water. Lucky spectators chosen at random will be brought down to the playing grounds and be given three chances to hit a target with a ball...if they connect the politician will fall into the water and get all wet. How's that for entertainment? Am I right or am I right?

Sunday, May 13, 2012

The Impending Doom of the Internet...

The internet is a free-flowing super highway of data and information. If someone discovers something in one corner of the earth, immediately everyone on earth knows about it. If something hilarious happens somewhere on earth, immediately everyone knows about. If some woman has huge and beautiful breasts in some portion of the planet, immediately the entire earth knows about it.

This has been the case for almost 20 years now, but is the end approaching? Will the data of the internet be divided up by oligopolies and turned into a mere marketing tool for them? They did it to television, and they are coming for our internet.

When the net came out there was no ads on it, you could get around it easy and it was all content. A few years into the life of the net they poisoned it with millions of ads, you couldn't go from one link to the next without being assailed by a million pop up windows. Thankfully someone invented pop-up blockers and everything went back to normal for a while. In the last few years, the ads have crept back, in varying degrees from subtle (hidden somewhere on the page) to in-your-face (a full 30 second ad before a video plays).

Advertisements may be annoying but they're okay, and certainly do not represent the end of the free flowing of data on the internet. What scares me most is when big companies try to protect their profits by lobbying the government to place roadblocks and impede the flow of the internet.

Take for example, here in Canada we cannot watch anything on Hulu or any other American site because of laws placed on Canadians by the Canadian Tele-Radio Telecommunications Commission. In response to complaints by Canadian advertisers, and communications companies, access to hundreds of sites have been blocked to Canadian residents.

Yes, the government can impose "locks" on sites if they wish. Thankfully it's rarely for propaganda purposes but only to placate to the interest of big advertising and communications companies.

Recently, the Canadian Music Publishers Association and the Canadian Independent Music Association have both lobbied the government asking to make drastic changes to copyright laws, increase penalties for infringement, and to install all sorts of new "locks" on the internet for Canadian web users.

Since when do musicians and the music industry dictate what Canadians can do on the internet?

Canadian Music: Is it Just Bad...or is it Something Completely Sinister?

There was a time when Canadians made good music. We had stuff like Rush, the Guess Who, DOA, my gal Anne Murray, Nomeansno, and others. Those days are over, the Canadian music industry is now just a big dumb oligopoly that churns out chaff garbage off of some emotionless conveyor belt.

I'm not going to beat around the bush here, I'm gonna get straight to the point. The Canadian Music Industry trying to put locks on the internet is their third strike. This latest offense is their third and final one, and it is as brazen and effronterous as their initial two strikes.

Strike 1: Nickelback

This was not funny. Unleashing Nickelback onto the world is one of Canada's most awful crimes. As a Canadian person, I deeply and humbly apologize to the world and every foreign nation for Nickelback.

(Benevolent and intelligent Portuguese folks pelt Nickelback with projectiles of justice)

Chad Kroeger was some mutant who was seen rising out of a cesspool in Alberta by some record company bigwigs who thought they could give him a bath and sell him to the world. Unfortunately, it worked like a charm and both the bigwigs and Kroeger made millions.

After pulling a stunt like this, the Canadian music industry is already skating on thin ice. You do not try to pass mutants like Kroeger off as musical acts.

Strike 2: Justin Bieber

Decent cheek bones at least.
I tried apologizing to humanity on behalf of Canada for Nickelback, but I know no matter what I say...the rest of the earth will never forgive us for Bieber.

Listen up you Canadian Music Industry, this is beyond good taste at this point. You already had one strike against you, why go and pull something like this? You think you're funny or something? Are you trying to show that you can do anything you want? Something like this could easily break the camel's back. When you are on thin ice, you should not press your luck.

Bieber, heed these words: Do not pass GO, do not collect $200, go directly to North Korea like you were supposed to and stay there.

...and for the record: Shorty is not an eenie-meenie-miney-mo lover. She is a respectable, one-timing, and wonderful girl.

Strike 3: Fucking with the Free Flow of the Internet

Kroeger, then Bieber, and now this? Trying to place digital locks all over our great internet. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

You struck the fuck out Canadian Music Industry...now grab the pine, take a seat and think about what you've done.

What Can We Do?

How did the music industry get so big and powerful to have enough money to lobby the government to mess up all our laws? By hawking their shit warez and chachkies to 13 year old girls. They know 13 year old girls are the only people with enough power to make their parents buy them whatever they want, and thus they are the prime demographic to market products (Bieber, Kroeger) to.

If you are the parent of a 13 year old girl, please for the love of everything that is holy and right, do not buy them the Canadian Music Industry's chaff garbage. Having a child with a Bieber or a Kroeger addiction is a million times worse than if your child has a drug or alcohol addiction. It is not all fun and games anymore, it's not an innocent crush anymore, letting them listen to Bieber and Kroeger will ultimately kill our internet.

If you found marijuana or a bottle of vodka in your 13 year old daughter's room, you would confiscate it and punish her right? Of course. Yet marijuana or vodka will not even cause the destruction of the free flowing internet as we know it.

I implore all parents of 13 year old girls, please, if you find a Bieber or Kroeger CD in their room, or see an entry for them while you scan through their ipods, for the love of the internet, PLEASE, confiscate it and sit her down and explain to her the damage she is doing to herself and society. You must treat chaff music industry garbage as substances that are more toxic and mentally corrosive than marijuana and vodka combined.

I implore you, for the good of the internet...do not buy any more crappy Canadian music for your kids.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Healthy Life Tips: How to Breathe Right! The First Step on the Path to Healthy Livin' !

People ask sometimes, what the necessities of life are. Most would answer: Sleeping, Eating, and Drinking. It seems the most basic of life's necessities, the act of breathing, is never discussed at length. I'd go as far to say that we as a human race are taking breathing for granted, and we shouldn't be doing that.

You can eat right, exercise, and take your vitamins...but you have to ask yourself at some point, "am I breathing correctly?"

Breathing is an art and science that we are only beginning to comprehend. Only by getting down and in-synch with your breathing can you begin to get down with your bad self.

So let's talk about breathing...at length.

What is Breathing?

Breathing is the act of sucking in oxygen and releasing carbon. Oxygen is what keeps our asses alive and without it we suffocate and die. All humans are oxygen junkies, we are so addicted to that shit that if we don't get our oxygen fix for even 10 minutes we will drop dead and die.

Oxygen is such a long stuffy word, it has 3 syllables (which is ridiculous) and has stupid letters in it that nobody likes, I'm talking about "x" and "y" of course, I mean, what, are we plotting a Cartesian plane here? No. So what's with the axis letters? Someone at some point got sick of saying this ugly-ass word and replaced it with the word "Air" which is a nice word.

I love air. Ever since I was a little kid I liked air...I think it was this song in particular that won me over on air:

Air...air...air...air...It is everywhere!

How to Tell Time by Counting your Breaths

If you can get in-synch with your breathing then you can know exactly how many breaths you take in a day, and that is really useful for you. You can tell exactly what moment of your cyclical day-routine you are currently situated in. Ahem...let me explain:

Breathing is like an inherent time measuring stick. Everyone's time measuring stick is customized to their own life cycle and/or micromanaged routine-cycle. Once you set your base unit for 1 personal breath you take, then you can start stratisfying your mental time units in accordance.

For my personal human routine-cycle, 1 unit of "inhaling of breath" is roughly ~0.556 moments of elapsed "time", and 1 unit of "exhaling of breath" is roughly ~0.661 moments of elapsed "time". Your body has a built in subconscious breath counter that records this, there is no need to literally count breaths (that's cumbersome and mentally crazy, do not count your breaths with words)...therefore...I can know exactly and precisely how many moments of time has elapsed by my breathing and I never ever check clocks or time pieces.
In accordance with my base time units, I measure "months" by a 1000 "day" cycles, and "days" are measured on a 10,000 unit cycle which consists of isolated "moments" which are measured in a 100,000 unit cycle of 1.217 fixed quantity per unit (0.661 + 0.556).

If you get down with your breathing, you can do this too!

...But, Don't Get too Down with Your Breathing

Some people take it too far. For instance, the Breatharians, take the idea of getting down with their own breathing, way too far.
Brooks only eats sweet tasty Air.

Similar to how a vegetarian only eats vegetables...a Breatharian only eats breaths. Its founder and lead breath researcher, Mr. Wiley Brooks, teaches that you can live a healthy long-lasting life by casting off food and drink and maintaining sustenance solely through the consumption of air.

The following is a rather insane excerpt from the Breatharian Institute of America:

"Wiley has been a Breatharian for some 30 years and has been giving seminars and teaching his intrinsically learned philosophy for over 20 of those years. A Breatharian is a person who can, under the proper conditions, live with or without eating physical food. Wiley was first introduced to the world back in 1981 when he appeared on the national TV show "THAT'S INCREDIBLE" demonstrating his strength by lifting 1100 lbs of weights, nearly 10 times his own body weight. When in a non-polluted environment (air or electro) he sleeps 1 to 7 hours a week. Althought Wiley is now 74 years old (young) he teaches only Empowered Ascension to a very few pre-qualified applicants.


[Wiley's] goal is to populate EARTH PRIME with as many people as possible before March 20, 2013.

Wiley Brooks, Breatharian and teacher from the 5th Dimensional worlds

Wiley has had past lives as:


(See: http://www.breatharian.com/wileybrooks.html)

The 5th dimensional world of Earth Prime sounds awesome and everything, but I'm not sure I believe Wiley when he talks this gibberish.

Wiley is a nice man, I think he just enjoys breathing a little too much. Movin' on...

Does Air Care?

We humans have a love affair with air, we cannot live or breathe without it. Yet, is this love affair mutual or totally one-sided? Sadly, it's hard to admit but entirely true that air does not love humans back.

Check this shit out....

That's a high pressure air vacuum (or sumthin') that is ripping shit apart like an unstoppable freight train of destruction. Air is not a sentient thoughtful creature like us, it is a mindless killing machine. Air does not care, it just doesn't care about the consequences of its actions.


Humans have a love affair with the air...but air just doesn't care. It's a sad story when you think about it, no?